I've always loved family get-togethers but, since the accident, they're not as easy as they used to be. It's like any additional stress is like the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. All week I've been trying not to stress out about the annual family reunion today. Not that I wasn't looking forward to it in many ways because I was. But I also know what to expect from events now and I tend to dread them.
What do I expect? Extra work in getting food ready to take. Exhaustion from the drive to and from wherever the event is being held. Usually at least thirty minutes away. I'm not sure how bad it would be if I were doing the driving, although maybe it wouldn't be bad. At the rate it's going, who knows when I'll find out though.
There's also the event itself.
I can guarantee you that no one on the planet loves their family-the whole family-more than I do. But I have to force myself to mingle now. For one thing, standing up and walking around much hurts. A lot (though I have to say that walking is much easier than just standing in one place).
Then there's the fact that there is so much going on around me. Conversations, kids playing, games... Normal things. Yet things that tire me out beyond belief.
Fortunately I'm a big believer in the 'fake it until you make it' philosophy. If not for that, I'd always stay closed up in my office, where things are calm and quiet, easier to take. Very little stress. Except doing that wouldn't get me any closer to living the life I enjoyed before the head injury.
Even so, last night I started considering what excuses I might use for staying home. The possible reasons were running through my mind while I was preparing the casserole-because I knew if I waited until this morning, I'd be in too much pain to even pretend to be having a good time. As it stands, I think this is the second time in my life that I've not taken a dessert. The first time was last year...
So...
I just thought I'd share one of the many ways my accident and injuries have screwed up my life. Did I have a good time? Yes I did. I find that if I seek out one person and concentrate on that conversation, it's easier. Then I move to another. Today I stayed almost two and a half hours. That's quite awhile for me these days.
The stress from it, though, did make me realize that I'm going to stop posting blogs on the weekend. Since that's when most events take place, I need to keep them as stress free as possible, and the pressure of preparing for the reunion yesterday was too much.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
More on PTSD
After researching the PTST/TBI subject the other day, one phrase just keeps coming back to bug me. That would be the one that went something along the lines of, "constant, relentless stress" will make PTSD symptoms worse.
Amazingly enough, that's exactly what your insurance company causes. I don't know about you but being forced to endure IME's ('independent' medical evaluations), when you know their doctors are going to say you're perfectly fine (in other words, lie), is extremely stressful.
Having to deal with all of their paperwork, which they usually 'don't receive,' or 'lose,' is also very stressful. Just a suggestion here, fax them in with a short cover letter that includes a 'cc' to your attorney. Surprisingly enough, they manage to hold on to them a little better when you do that. At least that's what I've found over the past couple of years.
Holding up approval on treatments, or items you might need for your recovery is also another way they work to cause you additional stress.
But so far the thing that sends me over the top are their interrogatories. If you haven't yet experienced that treat, prepare yourself for some serious anger. They are a collection of the most intrusive, obnoxious and rude questions I've ever had the misfortune to read. Basically, if your benefits are canceled-and you want them back-you're going to have to suck it up and answer every one of them.
My company demanded access to several years records of my bank statements and income tax returns, all of my medical records, and information that is absolutely none of their business. One of the most offensive ones wanted the make, model, year and VIN number of the vehicles belonging to anyone who might have stayed overnight at my house during the six month prior to the accident. Not only that, but they expected me to provide the insurance company address and policy number on the cars for each of those guests.
Excuse me???!!!
Just thinking about it is enough to make my temper flare. Of course I didn't provide the information. In the same way I didn't provide the names and contact information for the doctors who have treated me since the accident. Or the amounts of the bills either. Instead I referred them to their computer files, where they already have that information.
Why did I share this with you? Because if you, too, suffer from PTSD caused by an accident, your insurance company doctors will deny it exists, while the company employees go out of their way to make it worse. Their goal is to stress you out badly enough, make you so miserable, that you'll give up and walk away...from the benefits you paid for.
And all insurance companies do this. Some are worse than others. My case manager told me that she has worked with a lot of companies during her career and that mine was the second worst one she'd ever dealt with. Lucky me, huh?
Amazingly enough, that's exactly what your insurance company causes. I don't know about you but being forced to endure IME's ('independent' medical evaluations), when you know their doctors are going to say you're perfectly fine (in other words, lie), is extremely stressful.
Having to deal with all of their paperwork, which they usually 'don't receive,' or 'lose,' is also very stressful. Just a suggestion here, fax them in with a short cover letter that includes a 'cc' to your attorney. Surprisingly enough, they manage to hold on to them a little better when you do that. At least that's what I've found over the past couple of years.
Holding up approval on treatments, or items you might need for your recovery is also another way they work to cause you additional stress.
But so far the thing that sends me over the top are their interrogatories. If you haven't yet experienced that treat, prepare yourself for some serious anger. They are a collection of the most intrusive, obnoxious and rude questions I've ever had the misfortune to read. Basically, if your benefits are canceled-and you want them back-you're going to have to suck it up and answer every one of them.
My company demanded access to several years records of my bank statements and income tax returns, all of my medical records, and information that is absolutely none of their business. One of the most offensive ones wanted the make, model, year and VIN number of the vehicles belonging to anyone who might have stayed overnight at my house during the six month prior to the accident. Not only that, but they expected me to provide the insurance company address and policy number on the cars for each of those guests.
Excuse me???!!!
Just thinking about it is enough to make my temper flare. Of course I didn't provide the information. In the same way I didn't provide the names and contact information for the doctors who have treated me since the accident. Or the amounts of the bills either. Instead I referred them to their computer files, where they already have that information.
Why did I share this with you? Because if you, too, suffer from PTSD caused by an accident, your insurance company doctors will deny it exists, while the company employees go out of their way to make it worse. Their goal is to stress you out badly enough, make you so miserable, that you'll give up and walk away...from the benefits you paid for.
And all insurance companies do this. Some are worse than others. My case manager told me that she has worked with a lot of companies during her career and that mine was the second worst one she'd ever dealt with. Lucky me, huh?
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Are They In Your Corner?
If you're injured in an automobile accident and are experiencing a great deal of pain, as well as impaired mobility, one of the best things that could happen to you is to be referred to a physiatrist. (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physiatrist)
I was fortunate to be referred to an especially good one, and he has overseen my care for more than eighteen months. How do I know he's that good? Because my case manager, who usually works in a very large metro area, told me so. I already suspected that, but it was nice to hear my opinion confirmed.
I haven't always been so fortunate during this ordeal though. At one point I was referred to a pain management specialist who was something less than impressive.
She was supposed to teach me techniques to 'close the pain gate.' (see http://www.holisticonline.com/remedies/backpain/back_pain_gate_control_theory.htm)
Close the pain gate?! Okay! At that point in my recovery, I could see where suicide might, eventually, become a viable option for pain relief so yeah. I was all for closing that gate. Let's slam that sucker shut, paddle lock it, weld it, build a brick wall around it, do whatever it takes to keep that baby closed!
Except to my surprise and disgust (mostly disgust), she suggested I start making use of things like motorized shopping carts, wheelchairs and walkers with seats. You know, so I could walk awhile, sit and rest awhile, walk a little more...
What???!!!
This wasn't teaching me to close any gate! This was basically telling me to give up and accept life as an invalid. I really wanted to tell her to bite me, but held my tongue, finished out the appointment, then couldn't get out of there fast enough. Literally, since I was still walking slow as a snail at the time. When I ranted about it to my doctor he told me I didn't need to see her anymore. Good thing because I hadn't planned on gong back!
You need to make very sure that you, and those who are treating you, are on the same page. My doctor and I are. The pain management specialist and I were not.
Had I listened to the well meaning garbage coming out of her mouth, I'd be destined to life in a wheelchair. Instead, I got hooked up with a great physical therapy program. When I started, walking for 5 minutes on a treadmill set at 0.4 mph was like torture. When I had to stop treatments nine months later, due to insurance issues, I was up to 1.7 mph for 20-30 minutes. Quite a nice improvement. I miss the treadmill though. The pace is steadier and less painful than walking on solid ground.
To back up a second. You'll note that I said great physical therapy program. Trust me, some programs aren't even good. My first round of PT falls in that category. So I thought I'd try pool therapy through the same company. It fell in to another category. That would be called a very bad program.
The third choice was the charm though. These therapists knew exactly what they were doing. While they never pushed me to the point where I'd hurt myself more, they didn't cut me any slack. Which worked well for me because I don't cut myself much slack either. I was always up for anything that would help me get back to normal faster. Any time they asked if I wanted to try something new, I always said yes. Sometimes I wish I hadn't but in the end, it always proved to be a good decision.
They, also, were on the same page. They knew what my ultimate goal was and worked with me to make it happen. When my benefits are reinstated, I'd like to pick up where we left off. While I made amazing progress there, I still have a long road ahead of me.
But that road is much shorter than it would have been had I listened to the pain management specialist.
So take it from me. Be choosy in who you work with, or your outcome might be very different than what you'd hoped it would be. You must take an active role in your recovery. If someone seems to have given up on you, find someone who won't.
I was fortunate to be referred to an especially good one, and he has overseen my care for more than eighteen months. How do I know he's that good? Because my case manager, who usually works in a very large metro area, told me so. I already suspected that, but it was nice to hear my opinion confirmed.
I haven't always been so fortunate during this ordeal though. At one point I was referred to a pain management specialist who was something less than impressive.
She was supposed to teach me techniques to 'close the pain gate.' (see http://www.holisticonline.com/remedies/backpain/back_pain_gate_control_theory.htm)
Close the pain gate?! Okay! At that point in my recovery, I could see where suicide might, eventually, become a viable option for pain relief so yeah. I was all for closing that gate. Let's slam that sucker shut, paddle lock it, weld it, build a brick wall around it, do whatever it takes to keep that baby closed!
Except to my surprise and disgust (mostly disgust), she suggested I start making use of things like motorized shopping carts, wheelchairs and walkers with seats. You know, so I could walk awhile, sit and rest awhile, walk a little more...
What???!!!
This wasn't teaching me to close any gate! This was basically telling me to give up and accept life as an invalid. I really wanted to tell her to bite me, but held my tongue, finished out the appointment, then couldn't get out of there fast enough. Literally, since I was still walking slow as a snail at the time. When I ranted about it to my doctor he told me I didn't need to see her anymore. Good thing because I hadn't planned on gong back!
You need to make very sure that you, and those who are treating you, are on the same page. My doctor and I are. The pain management specialist and I were not.
Had I listened to the well meaning garbage coming out of her mouth, I'd be destined to life in a wheelchair. Instead, I got hooked up with a great physical therapy program. When I started, walking for 5 minutes on a treadmill set at 0.4 mph was like torture. When I had to stop treatments nine months later, due to insurance issues, I was up to 1.7 mph for 20-30 minutes. Quite a nice improvement. I miss the treadmill though. The pace is steadier and less painful than walking on solid ground.
To back up a second. You'll note that I said great physical therapy program. Trust me, some programs aren't even good. My first round of PT falls in that category. So I thought I'd try pool therapy through the same company. It fell in to another category. That would be called a very bad program.
The third choice was the charm though. These therapists knew exactly what they were doing. While they never pushed me to the point where I'd hurt myself more, they didn't cut me any slack. Which worked well for me because I don't cut myself much slack either. I was always up for anything that would help me get back to normal faster. Any time they asked if I wanted to try something new, I always said yes. Sometimes I wish I hadn't but in the end, it always proved to be a good decision.
They, also, were on the same page. They knew what my ultimate goal was and worked with me to make it happen. When my benefits are reinstated, I'd like to pick up where we left off. While I made amazing progress there, I still have a long road ahead of me.
But that road is much shorter than it would have been had I listened to the pain management specialist.
So take it from me. Be choosy in who you work with, or your outcome might be very different than what you'd hoped it would be. You must take an active role in your recovery. If someone seems to have given up on you, find someone who won't.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
A Word to Support People
Quite frankly, I feel kind of sorry for the people in my life sometimes. And sometimes I don't. No one ever expected the injuries from the accident to still be affecting me almost two years later. But they are and it's about time they get used to it. I've worked pretty hard these long months, and there are improvements. I intend for there to continue to be improvements, too.
But a little help would really help in certain situations.
Take the quick-and long lasting-temper problems, for instance. I've struggled with this issue all along. I know it. They know it. So technically, since none of us likes it when it rears its ugly head, you'd think we'd all do whatever is necessary to avoid it.
There are a number of reasons that cause me to get to that point, but stress and unpleasantness are the two major offenders. I am very aware of when it begins to get out of hand and I try to warn them. But on too many occasions it's like talking to the wall. And then I'm the 'bad guy.'
And let me tell you, I can be very bad. I'll shout, I'll cuss, I'll say things that I never would have said before the TBI and PTSD. Things that horrify me even as I hear the ugly words spewing out of my mouth. At some point I manage to clamp my jaws together because I'm so disgusted with myself, but the irritability can last for hours. Unless I can get somewhere alone-with minimal noise, distractions and interruptions.
I hate this new part of my personality. I fight against it all the time. To the point where I spend a great deal of time alone in my office, avoiding talking to anyone...in person or on the telephone. If I isolate myself, I can avoid all triggers, right?
But my question is why should I have to avoid them? If I work hard to keep the monster in me under control, shouldn't the people in my life work hard to not irritate me?
In a perfect world, yeah.
But the world isn't perfect, is it? We get used to life being this way, and when something happens to change a part of it, or in this case-a person, it's stressful for everyone involved. We want things back the way they were. We try to live life the same way we always have. Maybe in hopes that if we keep trying to make it so, it will be so?
Maybe it can be. Someday. But if you're dealing with a TBI and/or PTSD victim, cut them a little slack, okay? If you want things back to normal, it's going to take some time for your loved one to adjust and figure out new ways to handle things in his or her life.
If they give you a heads up that whatever is going on now is about to set them off, heed the warning! Not only might it save you hours of misery, you'll earn some brownie points for compassion and understanding. Because like it or not, understand it or not, that's exactly what we need sometimes.
Will you, the support person, get it right every time? Nope. But we, the victims, won't either. All any of us can do is our best. Keep trying, keep failing, keep winning some of the battles. It's a learning process for everyone.
You just need to learn fast....try not to tick us off. (smile, okay?)
But a little help would really help in certain situations.
Take the quick-and long lasting-temper problems, for instance. I've struggled with this issue all along. I know it. They know it. So technically, since none of us likes it when it rears its ugly head, you'd think we'd all do whatever is necessary to avoid it.
There are a number of reasons that cause me to get to that point, but stress and unpleasantness are the two major offenders. I am very aware of when it begins to get out of hand and I try to warn them. But on too many occasions it's like talking to the wall. And then I'm the 'bad guy.'
And let me tell you, I can be very bad. I'll shout, I'll cuss, I'll say things that I never would have said before the TBI and PTSD. Things that horrify me even as I hear the ugly words spewing out of my mouth. At some point I manage to clamp my jaws together because I'm so disgusted with myself, but the irritability can last for hours. Unless I can get somewhere alone-with minimal noise, distractions and interruptions.
I hate this new part of my personality. I fight against it all the time. To the point where I spend a great deal of time alone in my office, avoiding talking to anyone...in person or on the telephone. If I isolate myself, I can avoid all triggers, right?
But my question is why should I have to avoid them? If I work hard to keep the monster in me under control, shouldn't the people in my life work hard to not irritate me?
In a perfect world, yeah.
But the world isn't perfect, is it? We get used to life being this way, and when something happens to change a part of it, or in this case-a person, it's stressful for everyone involved. We want things back the way they were. We try to live life the same way we always have. Maybe in hopes that if we keep trying to make it so, it will be so?
Maybe it can be. Someday. But if you're dealing with a TBI and/or PTSD victim, cut them a little slack, okay? If you want things back to normal, it's going to take some time for your loved one to adjust and figure out new ways to handle things in his or her life.
If they give you a heads up that whatever is going on now is about to set them off, heed the warning! Not only might it save you hours of misery, you'll earn some brownie points for compassion and understanding. Because like it or not, understand it or not, that's exactly what we need sometimes.
Will you, the support person, get it right every time? Nope. But we, the victims, won't either. All any of us can do is our best. Keep trying, keep failing, keep winning some of the battles. It's a learning process for everyone.
You just need to learn fast....try not to tick us off. (smile, okay?)
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
A Residual Effect
Even though it's been almost two years, I haven't been given the go ahead to drive again. My occupational therapist set me up with a driving instructor they use for people with TBI's. The gentleman thought I would benefit from 6-8 sessions, then be good to go. Except, thanks to the results of insurance company enforced IME's, my coverage was canceled after the first one. And so I continue to remain a passenger.
Now I'm not sure if this particular effect would be better or worse if I were at the wheel, but I get very nervous at intersections now. Especially when people approaching stop signs and lights are traveling too fast and wait until the last minute to slam on the brakes. This happened today on the way to the grocery store and, per usual, it scared the heck out of me. I hate that. One, it is frightening and two, it annoys whoever is chauffeuring me around. It makes them think they're about to be plowed in to.
That got me thinking about my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PSTD) diagnosis. IME doctors will likely insist that you don't have it-at least the ones I've seen have-but it is a very real problem in auto accident victims. Well, many different kinds of victims experience PSTD but, for the purpose of this blog, we'll stick with the accident part of it.
Symptoms can include flashbacks, nightmares, emotional numbing, insomnia, depression, avoidance, immersion, hyperarousal (anger/irritability), fear, anxiety... The list goes on.
They say the person suffering from PSTD is often the last to know, and that certainly was true in my case. I'd been under the impression that symptoms were limited to flashbacks and nightmares. Fortunately the nightmares never happened to me, but then when you only sleep 3-4 hours in every 24-hour period, especially when physical pain wakes you often, nightmares don't have much chance to bother you. The flashback experience has always been limited to intersections. Not every intersection, just in situations like I described above. And then I always brace myself for the impact of their vehicle hitting the one I'm in. But I just assumed that was a normal reaction following an accident.
My doctor is the one who first suspected it, along with the head injury. As soon as I got home that day, I started Googling PSTD and, sure enough, many of the symptoms described what I was going through. Feeling emotionally numb, except for a quick and foul temper, were things I'd already mentioned to the doctor because they were not 'me.'
I hated the fact that my temper could get out of control for little or no reason. From a state of numbness to absolute fury in the space of a split second. Even more I hated my reaction when, almost seven months after the accident, an aunt, whom I loved dearly, passed away. I am, or used to be, the kind of person who would cry the very second I saw a tear in someone else's eye during times like that. No matter how hard I tried to hold it together, one tear is all it would take. When she died I didn't feel anything. Except disgust with myself. Intellectually I knew I loved her, I knew I should be blubbering like a baby, that it should hurt but...I just felt numb.
Too many things on the list are issues I deal with now, and I won't go in to them because it would take too long. But I would encourage anyone suffering from PTSD to educate themselves on the subject. The more you know, the more you know what to expect. Forewarned is forearmed.
I've added a link on the left for a website I found to be well written and very informative. It deals mostly with Vietnam veterans, but applies to anyone with the disorder. If you want to know more, it's a great place to learn.
Now I'm not sure if this particular effect would be better or worse if I were at the wheel, but I get very nervous at intersections now. Especially when people approaching stop signs and lights are traveling too fast and wait until the last minute to slam on the brakes. This happened today on the way to the grocery store and, per usual, it scared the heck out of me. I hate that. One, it is frightening and two, it annoys whoever is chauffeuring me around. It makes them think they're about to be plowed in to.
That got me thinking about my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PSTD) diagnosis. IME doctors will likely insist that you don't have it-at least the ones I've seen have-but it is a very real problem in auto accident victims. Well, many different kinds of victims experience PSTD but, for the purpose of this blog, we'll stick with the accident part of it.
Symptoms can include flashbacks, nightmares, emotional numbing, insomnia, depression, avoidance, immersion, hyperarousal (anger/irritability), fear, anxiety... The list goes on.
They say the person suffering from PSTD is often the last to know, and that certainly was true in my case. I'd been under the impression that symptoms were limited to flashbacks and nightmares. Fortunately the nightmares never happened to me, but then when you only sleep 3-4 hours in every 24-hour period, especially when physical pain wakes you often, nightmares don't have much chance to bother you. The flashback experience has always been limited to intersections. Not every intersection, just in situations like I described above. And then I always brace myself for the impact of their vehicle hitting the one I'm in. But I just assumed that was a normal reaction following an accident.
My doctor is the one who first suspected it, along with the head injury. As soon as I got home that day, I started Googling PSTD and, sure enough, many of the symptoms described what I was going through. Feeling emotionally numb, except for a quick and foul temper, were things I'd already mentioned to the doctor because they were not 'me.'
I hated the fact that my temper could get out of control for little or no reason. From a state of numbness to absolute fury in the space of a split second. Even more I hated my reaction when, almost seven months after the accident, an aunt, whom I loved dearly, passed away. I am, or used to be, the kind of person who would cry the very second I saw a tear in someone else's eye during times like that. No matter how hard I tried to hold it together, one tear is all it would take. When she died I didn't feel anything. Except disgust with myself. Intellectually I knew I loved her, I knew I should be blubbering like a baby, that it should hurt but...I just felt numb.
Too many things on the list are issues I deal with now, and I won't go in to them because it would take too long. But I would encourage anyone suffering from PTSD to educate themselves on the subject. The more you know, the more you know what to expect. Forewarned is forearmed.
I've added a link on the left for a website I found to be well written and very informative. It deals mostly with Vietnam veterans, but applies to anyone with the disorder. If you want to know more, it's a great place to learn.
Monday, August 2, 2010
IME's
Twenty minutes to my self-imposed midnight deadline and I've decided I can't do the blog already written for today's post. Why? Because I feel like I need to tackle a subject near and dear to my heart. And that's issuing a warning.
Those of you who have been dealing with this for awhile will understand what I'm talking about. Those who are in the beginning stages don't have a clue about what's waiting for them down the line. I know I sure didn't. But believe me, there are people who have made it their life's mission to discredit your injuries, to make it sound like you're 'faking it,' and even blame whatever is wrong with you on your prior medical history.
These offenders would be none other than those in the medical profession. The ones who take this silly little oath to keep their patients from harm and injustice. Yeah, right. The moment they sign on to administer IME's (Independent Medical Evaluations), I guess they forget about that. Refuting what real doctors say is, after all, a very lucrative business.
Sometimes, I've found, they seem just as nice as can be. But don't be fooled. They are being paid to dispute everything your doctors have diagnosed. As I mentioned above, they will try to say there's nothing wrong with you. Or if there is, it's not the result of your accident but rather something from your past is the cause. Some will write out and out lies and, sadly, I know this from experience.
Fairly early in my post-accident journey, my claims rep suggested I let them hire a 'case manager' for me. She explained their duties were to coordinate treatment, help keep track of everything and make sure no stone was left unturned to make sure I recovered as quickly as possible. Having already been given reason to distrust her, I said I'd think about it, and did some checking around.
Take it from me, an independent case manager is a wonderful thing. If a treating physician believes one will benefit their patient, they can write a prescription which the patient can then use to find one on their own. Or by referral from someone they trust. If they're prescribed, the insurance company should have to cover this expense.
A case manager will make sure that IME's are scheduled at their convenience and attend them with patient. This is a good thing because they will be a witness for every exam. And that's exactly what an accident victim needs. Notice I said 'needs,' not 'wants.'
If they can't get one, they need to make sure that someone goes with them to an IME. They are entitled to a support person with them throughout the exam, at least in my state. It's a definite advantage to have an extra pair of eyes and ears because IME doctors will generally not allow audio or video taping of the time they spend with a patient, so a witness is crucial.
If the witness is able, they should take notes throughout the exam. If not, when it's over, both the patient and the witness should write down everything they remember. Time of arrival, when the exam began and how long it lasted. What the doctor did and asked. After the patient receives their copy of the report, they're often stunned by the differences in what actually happened and what the 'doctor' claimed happened.
The road to recovery is a long one. A case manager or witness might make things a little easier when a claims rep decides the patient has taken too long to recover. In too many cases people kiss their benefits goodbye, leaving them no alternative but take the matter to court to get them reinstated. Knowing details will make them a more credible witness.
Those of you who have been dealing with this for awhile will understand what I'm talking about. Those who are in the beginning stages don't have a clue about what's waiting for them down the line. I know I sure didn't. But believe me, there are people who have made it their life's mission to discredit your injuries, to make it sound like you're 'faking it,' and even blame whatever is wrong with you on your prior medical history.
These offenders would be none other than those in the medical profession. The ones who take this silly little oath to keep their patients from harm and injustice. Yeah, right. The moment they sign on to administer IME's (Independent Medical Evaluations), I guess they forget about that. Refuting what real doctors say is, after all, a very lucrative business.
Sometimes, I've found, they seem just as nice as can be. But don't be fooled. They are being paid to dispute everything your doctors have diagnosed. As I mentioned above, they will try to say there's nothing wrong with you. Or if there is, it's not the result of your accident but rather something from your past is the cause. Some will write out and out lies and, sadly, I know this from experience.
Fairly early in my post-accident journey, my claims rep suggested I let them hire a 'case manager' for me. She explained their duties were to coordinate treatment, help keep track of everything and make sure no stone was left unturned to make sure I recovered as quickly as possible. Having already been given reason to distrust her, I said I'd think about it, and did some checking around.
Take it from me, an independent case manager is a wonderful thing. If a treating physician believes one will benefit their patient, they can write a prescription which the patient can then use to find one on their own. Or by referral from someone they trust. If they're prescribed, the insurance company should have to cover this expense.
A case manager will make sure that IME's are scheduled at their convenience and attend them with patient. This is a good thing because they will be a witness for every exam. And that's exactly what an accident victim needs. Notice I said 'needs,' not 'wants.'
If they can't get one, they need to make sure that someone goes with them to an IME. They are entitled to a support person with them throughout the exam, at least in my state. It's a definite advantage to have an extra pair of eyes and ears because IME doctors will generally not allow audio or video taping of the time they spend with a patient, so a witness is crucial.
If the witness is able, they should take notes throughout the exam. If not, when it's over, both the patient and the witness should write down everything they remember. Time of arrival, when the exam began and how long it lasted. What the doctor did and asked. After the patient receives their copy of the report, they're often stunned by the differences in what actually happened and what the 'doctor' claimed happened.
The road to recovery is a long one. A case manager or witness might make things a little easier when a claims rep decides the patient has taken too long to recover. In too many cases people kiss their benefits goodbye, leaving them no alternative but take the matter to court to get them reinstated. Knowing details will make them a more credible witness.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Finding You
Life is hard after you've been injured in an auto accident. From the injuries themselves to just surviving day to day. It's hard. You're probably in pain-and a lot of it. If you throw a TBI in to the mix, then you may be experiencing difficulties in concentration, being overwhelmed by everything around you, even just trying to think.
Feelings of anger, helplessness, resentment and self-pity are emotions you'll struggle with every waking minute. You may find the things you're used to doing have become impossible challenges. Cooking a meal might have been a snap before, but now all it does is make the pain worse. A quick trip to the grocery store isn't so quick anymore. You're hurting, moving slow as a snail and it, too, just keeps adding to the pain. Simple things like getting dressed may require you to swallow your pride and ask for help.
Throw in what seems like endless appointments to see doctors and specialists, for tests, and physical therapy (that you can't imagine helping because every movement is a new adventure in agony) and life just gets...well, harder.
With all of this going on, it's pretty easy to fall in to a 'poor me' frame of mind. You may find it's very easy to whine and complain, after all, you have justifiable reasons for doing so. You may be tempted to start making excuses to avoid situations that make it worse. Let everyone else take over everything you used to do. After all, everything hurts. Why should you do anything to aggravate it?
For one thing, you're not doing yourself any favors. If all you do is sit around doing nothing, you might as well give it up, order a Hoveround and be done with it. I hope this doesn't confuse you but pain associated with any sort of movement does nothing but get worse when you move too little. Your muscles will get used to not moving much, and you'll begin to lose strength. And trust me, it will hurt more when you do get up to do something.
I'm not saying you should get out there and run marathons or anything, but even if it's nothing more than wandering out to the kitchen once in awhile to stir a pot of soup your spouse or child started, do it. Stay as involved in the things that used to interest you as possible.
Try not to cut yourself off from the people in your life either. Between the pain, exhaustion, difficulty concentrating...and all of your appointments, you just may discover your inner recluse. Banish him (or her) quickly! Staying connected with family and friends was an important part of your life before, and it's a part of your life you need to hang on to. If nothing else, they may be a wonderful distraction from your troubles.
One other thing to watch out. All of the negative emotions you're feeling can build until you feel like you're a stick of dynamite with a really short fuse. One wrong word, one wrong move can set you off. And when it happens, folks, run for cover!
But you know what? The people in your life didn't cause this. Like you, they wish the accident had never happened. They wish you weren't in pain and want you back to normal, too. Possibly even more than you do, depending on what your attitude has been.
They don't deserve to have you take the anger and resentment out on them. So please, if I'm describing you, make it a priority to get this part of you under control. TBI's can complicate things, but it's still not impossible. You might fail far more often than you succeed in reining in those negative feelings and words. But you just keep trying. And trying. And sooner or later, you'll get there. Your successes will outnumber the failures. Each time you win, you'll be one step closer the person you were before the accident.
Obviously I'm not talking about those who have suffered catastrophic physical and/or head injuries. But if you're here, reading this with any degree of understanding, then you likely have what it takes to help yourself on the road back to what was normal for you. Maybe you'll never achieve 100%, but 30, 50 or 70% is much better than nothing. Isn't it?
Feelings of anger, helplessness, resentment and self-pity are emotions you'll struggle with every waking minute. You may find the things you're used to doing have become impossible challenges. Cooking a meal might have been a snap before, but now all it does is make the pain worse. A quick trip to the grocery store isn't so quick anymore. You're hurting, moving slow as a snail and it, too, just keeps adding to the pain. Simple things like getting dressed may require you to swallow your pride and ask for help.
Throw in what seems like endless appointments to see doctors and specialists, for tests, and physical therapy (that you can't imagine helping because every movement is a new adventure in agony) and life just gets...well, harder.
With all of this going on, it's pretty easy to fall in to a 'poor me' frame of mind. You may find it's very easy to whine and complain, after all, you have justifiable reasons for doing so. You may be tempted to start making excuses to avoid situations that make it worse. Let everyone else take over everything you used to do. After all, everything hurts. Why should you do anything to aggravate it?
For one thing, you're not doing yourself any favors. If all you do is sit around doing nothing, you might as well give it up, order a Hoveround and be done with it. I hope this doesn't confuse you but pain associated with any sort of movement does nothing but get worse when you move too little. Your muscles will get used to not moving much, and you'll begin to lose strength. And trust me, it will hurt more when you do get up to do something.
I'm not saying you should get out there and run marathons or anything, but even if it's nothing more than wandering out to the kitchen once in awhile to stir a pot of soup your spouse or child started, do it. Stay as involved in the things that used to interest you as possible.
Try not to cut yourself off from the people in your life either. Between the pain, exhaustion, difficulty concentrating...and all of your appointments, you just may discover your inner recluse. Banish him (or her) quickly! Staying connected with family and friends was an important part of your life before, and it's a part of your life you need to hang on to. If nothing else, they may be a wonderful distraction from your troubles.
One other thing to watch out. All of the negative emotions you're feeling can build until you feel like you're a stick of dynamite with a really short fuse. One wrong word, one wrong move can set you off. And when it happens, folks, run for cover!
But you know what? The people in your life didn't cause this. Like you, they wish the accident had never happened. They wish you weren't in pain and want you back to normal, too. Possibly even more than you do, depending on what your attitude has been.
They don't deserve to have you take the anger and resentment out on them. So please, if I'm describing you, make it a priority to get this part of you under control. TBI's can complicate things, but it's still not impossible. You might fail far more often than you succeed in reining in those negative feelings and words. But you just keep trying. And trying. And sooner or later, you'll get there. Your successes will outnumber the failures. Each time you win, you'll be one step closer the person you were before the accident.
Obviously I'm not talking about those who have suffered catastrophic physical and/or head injuries. But if you're here, reading this with any degree of understanding, then you likely have what it takes to help yourself on the road back to what was normal for you. Maybe you'll never achieve 100%, but 30, 50 or 70% is much better than nothing. Isn't it?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)