Just One of Those Weekends...

I've always loved family get-togethers but, since the accident, they're not as easy as they used to be.  It's like any additional stress is like the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.  All week I've been trying not to stress out about the annual family reunion today.  Not that I wasn't looking forward to it in many ways because I was.  But I also know what to expect from events now and I tend to dread them. 

What do I expect?  Extra work in getting food ready to take.  Exhaustion from the drive to and from wherever the event is being held.  Usually at least thirty minutes away.  I'm not sure how bad it would be if I were doing the driving, although maybe it wouldn't be bad.  At the rate it's going, who knows when I'll find out though.

There's also the event itself.

I can guarantee you that no one on the planet loves their family-the whole family-more than I do.  But I have to force myself to mingle now.  For one thing, standing up and walking around much hurts.  A lot (though I have to say that walking is much easier than just standing in one place).

Then there's the fact that there is so much going on around me.  Conversations, kids playing, games...  Normal things.  Yet things that tire me out beyond belief.

Fortunately I'm a big believer in the 'fake it until you make it' philosophy.  If not for that, I'd always stay closed up in my office, where things are calm and quiet, easier to take.  Very little stress.  Except doing that wouldn't get me any closer to living the life I enjoyed before the head injury.   

Even so, last night I started considering what excuses I might use for staying home.  The possible reasons were running through my mind while I was preparing the casserole-because I knew if I waited until this morning, I'd be in too much pain to even pretend to be having a good time. As it stands, I think this is the second time in my life that I've not taken a dessert.  The first time was last year...

So...

I just thought I'd share one of the many ways my accident and injuries have screwed up my life.  Did I have a good time?  Yes I did.  I find that if I seek out one person and concentrate on that conversation, it's easier.  Then I move to another.  Today I stayed almost two and a half hours.  That's quite awhile for me these days.

The stress from it, though, did make me realize that I'm going to stop posting blogs on the weekend.  Since that's when most events take place, I need to keep them as stress free as possible, and the pressure of preparing for the reunion yesterday was too much.