What a Week!

Exhaustion and depression aren't picnics on their own but, add the two together, and life becomes really hard.  

I could say my family reunion started that ball rolling, and it would be sort of true.  I could also go back further and lay the blame smack on the accident, and that would also be true.  The accident did cause the issues with depression and exhaustion, and events of any kind exacerbate the symptoms.

But I'm not laying the blame on either one of those things.  Nope.  Now that those symptoms are starting to ease a bit, anger is setting in...again.  So I'm going to give credit where credit is due-and that goes directly to my insurance company.

Sometimes I'm sure I sound like a whiny, broken record but...I didn't ask for any of this!  I was obeying the law.  I didn't run the red light.  And even though I paid my premiums in good faith that they would uphold their end of our contract, should something like that ever happen, they failed.  In fact, they failed spectacularly. 

It took me well over a year to admit that I was depressed.  I kept denying it, calling it burn out.  Who wouldn't be burned out?  You're in horrible pain, not sleeping, going to so many appointments every single week that you're head is spinning.  Of course it's burn out.

Except it wasn't.  So I finally gave in and accepted a prescription for an antidepressant late last year or early this year (I lose track of time).  Between that and the counseling, it was getting better.  Not great but better.

Until the insurance company sent me to their doctors, then canceled my benefits based on their 'unbiased' and
'independent' reports.  

So no antidepressant, no counseling...  The longer I'm away from both, the worse my symptoms are getting.  Particularly the issues with the depression, quick temper and red-hot, instantaneous anger which, while never completely gone, had subsided quite a bit.  Now they're back in full force. 

Basically I'm back to the original post-accident mess and fighting to figure out how to control all that's going on.  Without the help I need.  Help that I paid for. 

My mantra for today?  And for tomorrow, next week, next year, 2020...  Insurance companies suck!

Yeah, I know it's the weekend.  But I figure after taking most of last week off, I'd post today anyway.