You Just Never Know

A couple of nights ago I was telling a friend that I was 'doing' a blog.  The purpose of the call was to see if she'd take a look at it and, if she liked it, email the link to all of her friends.  As I was trying to work up to the request, I felt like I had to justify my reasons for starting it.  I don't know why because she was very supportive of the idea.  Still, the need to explain why I wanted to do it was strong.

In the five months before the accident, I wrote yet another book.  From conception of the idea until I finished editing, it took about five weeks.  I also wrote a short story for a national magazine contest, a couple of weeks before it happened, in fact.  Since then, I've barely written anything, unless it was in the form of emails.  So part of my home therapy, suggested by two separate therapists, is to write every day. 

I also reminded her that one of my doctors suggested I write a book about my experiences.  Which I've tried to do.  In fact, I've written several chapters.  They're much easier than trying to pen fiction now.  But maybe it's because they feel like a diary rather than a book.  So I thought, why not blog it instead.

As we chatted, my 'excuses' became more clear.  Why not write this?  It's applicable to many situations.  Situations that have already happened, and situations that can happen in the future.

It really hit me, during that conversation, that the things I've learned, I wish I'd known about in the beginning.  I'd never thought much about being involved in an accident.  I certainly hadn't planned on it.  Like, hmm.  I wonder what I'll have to deal with if I ever get hit by some guy who runs a red light...

There's also the fact that I've always been a careful driver.  One who obeys all the traffic laws because I believe laws were made to protect us all.  I'm the one who wrote several letters to the editor about how out of control traffic violators are in our town.  The one who went to at least one city council meeting to ask that something be done about it, because I wanted my kids-and all of their classmates-safe.

So why would I ever think I might be involved in an auto accident?

Who ever thinks they will though?  Well, some people might.  Like the idiots who go barreling through stop signs on country roads after dark-when you know darned well they saw you approaching.  But that's beside the point. 

The fact is, none of us ever expect it.  The fact is, I wish I'd had someone to forewarn me of what was coming.  Maybe then keeping my blood pressure under control wouldn't continue to be such a challenge (and it was never high before the accident so that's another thing to look forward to).  I never knew my insurance claims rep would turn on me like a rabid dog.  I'd never heard of things like interrogatories and IME's either.

So I'm not going to make excuses anymore.  If my blogging helps you, then I've accomplished my purpose.  If it doesn't, great.  That means you're not where I am.  Hopefully you won't ever be.

A Not So Brilliant Decision

My recollection of October, November and December 2008 are not very clear.  I have vague memories of excruciating pain, not much sleep...and many appointments.  For someone who rarely even saw a doctor, this wasn't easy for me.  One, I am a firm believer in more natural alternatives.  And two, with the van totaled and my pretty little Lumina needing a new engine-which wasn't exactly in the budget right then-I was dependent on my mom, the newly christened chauffeur. 

But back to the appointments. Some were to see doctors.  The others were for a CT scan, an EMG and, my personal favorite (not!), an MRI (the first of three, lucky me-again, not!).  Let me say here and now, the CT scan was the best of the bunch.  And while it wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world, the EMG was tolerable.  The MRI...  Well that's another story, as well as the subject of today's post.

As you might have guessed from the 'natural alternatives' mention, I wasn't really thrilled when the ordering doctor prescribed a Xanax for the MRI.  After much deliberation, a conversation with the pharmacist, and being assured by the technician who set the appointment that the ordeal would only take about an hour, I opted to forgo the anti-anxiety tablet.  I could handle almost anything for an hour, right?

I was feeling fairly confident when Mom picked me up.  On the way she asked if 'it' had kicked in yet, then looked at me in disgust when I told her I'd decided not to take it.  She wasn't convinced that I was brave enough to go through with it without being in a drug-induced stupor-and threatened to kick a certain part of my anatomy if I chickened out.

No problem, Mom.  I could handle it.

I was still telling myself that as I walked down the hall with the technician.  Not with as much conviction as I'd had before arriving at the hospital, but I was sure I'd do okay.  At least until we arrived in radiology.  The few shreds of confidence I'd managed to hold on to dissolved in a puddle at my feet as I came face-to-face with the tube.

Whoever invented MRI's is both a genius and a sadistic monster...

My panic level, as I lay down on the hard, tray-like table, was spiraling out of control and I wondered if anyone had ever died of a heart attack in that impossibly tiny space.

Appropriately enough, the technician handed me a panic button and said if I couldn't handle it, just push it and he'd get me right out.  I clutched that thing to my chest like a lifeline.  In fact, I'm sure my knuckles were white, only my eyes were closed so tight I couldn't say for sure. 

The tray began to move and I started breathing, in much the same way I had during my experiences with labor.  I thought that might help, until my elbows hit the sides of the tube.  In that instant all spiraling stopped and I was in a full fledged panic.

Out!  I need out NOW!!!

I'll admit that this is just my opinion, but MRI's really should come with an eject button..  At that point I wouldn't have cared if that sucker shot me across the room and through a wall.  I needed to be out of it-and a whole lot faster than the tray was moving, too.

As I was trying to slow my breathing down,the tech assured me we could reschedule and I should take the Xanax this time.  That sounded pretty good plan to me, but that would mean having to face my mother and admit I was a coward.  Not that I was worried about her kicking anything.  She's all of 4' 11" tall.  Still, I didn't want the lecture.  And I sure wasn't in the mood for a, "told you so."

So I declined the very tempting offer and said, let's try it again.  This time I kept my arms glued to my sides and managed to tough it out long enough to complete the test.

Moral of this story?  If you have to have an MRI and your doctor offers to write a prescription for something to help you relax, you might want to give some serious thought to how claustrophobic you may or may not be.  Realize that if you're not, that is subject to change in a big hurry when you find yourself face-to-face with the tube.

And don't worry.  I think it's probably normal to wonder about things like earthquakes, bombs, crashing planes and tornadoes while you're in there. 

They Really Are On Your Side...

...as long as you're paying your premiums on time.  The moment you have to make a claim, though, you cease to become a valued customer.  Instead, there is a subtle and immediate shift to an 'us against them' stance.

The insurance claims representative assigned to 'help' you will appear to be friendly and concerned but, believe me, he or she is not.  Some people take that kindness at face value.  Probably the same people who would pet the nice little shark at Sea World, then wonder what happened to their hand.  In much the same way they will be wondering what happened to the benefits they paid for and are entitled to.

Because you know what?  You're no longer an asset to your insurance company.  Before your auto accident, you helped to pay their wages and contribute to their retirement funds.

Now you're a drain on their resources.  Profits stand to be lost.  So the only goal that solicitous rep has is to keep those losses to a minimum.  The more serious your injuries, the harder they will work to achieve that goal.  And that means you, my friend, are about to get screwed.

If you're injuries aren't bad, they probably won't waste their time hassling you.  At least not much.  But be careful what you say anyway.  Your claims rep is an expert at manipulating conversations in order to get you to say something they can later use against you.  The most innocent words can be twisted to incriminate you, no matter that you're the victim.  They don't care who was at fault.  If they can pin any blame on you, factual or not, they will.

The only thing that matters to them is the company's bottom line.  Anyone who is sucked in to believing their rep actually cares is making a grave error in judgment.

In your dealings with these people, there are two things that will help you.

First, don't say anything that isn't the absolute truth.  Don't exaggerate your symptoms or losses.  For one thing, lying brings with it the complication of trying to remember what you said later on.  They're taking meticulous notes, possibly even recording your conversations, so you won't get away with it.  


But if you are merely trying to fleece your insurance carrier, I guess you can say whatever you please.  In that case, though, you deserve everything they throw at you.  However, I think most people involved in auto accidents are like me.  All we want is for our lives to get back to normal, and we expect the help we paid for.  In good faith, trusting our carrier to make good on their promises.

The second thing is just a reiteration of what I said a couple of paragraphs back.   Always, always be truthful.  But always think very carefully before you speak.  Especially when answering their questions.  If you don't understand exactly what they're asking, then ask them to rephrase or explain it more clearly.  Like I said, they are masters at manipulating questions.  If you're not paying attention, you just might give them the answer they're looking for.

I'm going to give you a silly example of how a poorly thought out answer can incriminate you if you're not careful. 

"So, have you stopped beating your wife yet?"

The initial reaction would probably be, "No!"  Because most men don't beat their wives and would hate for anyone to think they do.  However, given the way the question was worded, saying no would mean they were still beating their wives.

On the other hand, if they thought about it for a split second, they might have picked up on 'have you stopped...'  and answer yes.  Of course that would make it sound as though they used to beat their wives.

The only correct response to that question, then, would be, "I've never beaten my wife."

So you can see how questions can be manipulated to get an initial gut reaction, although in my experience, claims reps are a bit more subtle than this.  In most cases anyway.

About a month after the accident, my claims rep tried to suggest, in a round about way, that I was faking my injuries.  Fortunately I was in too much pain, and exhausted from lack of sleep because of that pain, or my sarcastic tendencies could have landed me in a lot of hot water.  Instead I responded with some of the anger I was struggling with at the time (and still struggle with today).  I can't recall exactly how the conversation went but, at some point, I remember suggesting she hop in a car and let someone hit it at about 60 mph-then let me know how she was feeling.

So anyway, consider yourself warned.  The moment your accident occurred, your insurance carrier became the enemy.  Sounds a little dramatic, but once you've been dealing with it for awhile, you'll discover for yourself exactly how true that statement is.   

You are now on your own.  Prepare yourself for a battle that will only get worse the longer it takes you to recover.  They have a big bag of tricks, designed to add to your misery, and I'll share more on that later.

Does Anyone Else See That Knife In My Back?

Yeah, I know.  The title of today's post sounds a little paranoid, doesn't it?  If you've ever been through the ordeal that follows an accident, you'll know that it does...with good reason.  You learn fairly quickly to trust no one.  (That had a James Bond-kind of tone, didn't it?)

Within the first few days following the 'incident,' as the insurance company prefers to call it, there were two significant instances that set me on the path to questioning the motives of many people I would come to meet.

For some reason, getting a copy of the accident report was high on the list of things I felt I needed to do that week.  So as soon as it was ready, I paid the $5.00 fee, made sure I was listed as 100% blameless...and almost screamed when I read the part where the officer chose not to issue the man who hit me a ticket.  

What???!!!

 

That must have been a mistake.  A big one.  But no.  It was right there in black and white.  The guy admitted he hadn't been paying attention, ran the red light and hit me.  Witness reports confirmed the same thing, and their names and contact information were right there.  In black and white. 

 

But he doesn't get a ticket.  Or a breathalyzer test?  

This was about five o'clock on a sunny, dry October afternoon.  An out-of-state visitor runs a red light and totals my van-and the officer doesn't even think to see if he'd been drinking?  Doesn't give him a ticket?

Reading the last few sentences, you might get the idea that I'm still a little ticked off.  And you'd be correct.   I thought the police were there to protect the victims.  Guess I was wrong.

The next thing involved the company the officer called to tow my van away.  As I mentioned in the previous post, I hit my head hard enough that I blacked out for a short time.  My thought processes left a little to be desired and I didn't think to ask where they were going to take the van.  To the best of my recollection, I wasn't even asked where I wanted it taken, or I might have suggested my driveway.

 Now here my thoughts are a little confused (a fairly common occurrence these days).  I know the van wasn't in the tow company's yard for a full seventy-two hours but, when I realized that the bill was already sky-high, and they said the insurance company 'totaled' it, they helped me arrange for a friend of theirs-who just happened to own a scrap yard-to buy the van.  The van with the full tank of gas, purchased at nearly $3.00 a gallon.

Long story short, I was backed in to a corner, with storage charges climbing every day.  Not exactly in my budget.  So I said fine-and got enough from the sale to pay about two-thirds of what I owed.  

That was when I got my first look at the bill.  Which included a $50.00 fee.  My half of the costs for cleaning up the accident site.  Only fair, the gentleman pointed out, since my oil and anti-freeze were all over the road, too.  (I'd give you my honest opinion of that statement but it would involve the use of some heavy duty profanity and I'd rather not go there)  

But let me tell you, paying that charge is at the top of my 'to-do' list.  And I'll pay every cent of it, too.  The very instant I get word that hell has, indeed, frozen over.  Just so there's no confusion, on the off chance the owner of the towing company should happen to stumble on to this blog, I am referring to the biblical hell and not Hell, Michigan, which freezes over on a fairly regular basis in the winter.  

Okay, I'll admit that this post turned in to a bit of a rant.  But that doesn't alter the fact that if you were-or are ever-involved in an auto accident, be aware of the fact that, except for your loved ones, no one will be looking out for your best interests.  

No one.  Not the cop, not the towing company.  And never, ever your insurance company.  I'll cover more about that in my next post. 

Why In The World Am I Blogging?

So others might learn from my experience.
 
This fall it will be two years since my involvement in an auto accident.  Sometimes it feels like so much more time has passed because it doesn't seem possible that so much has happened in that length of time.
 
My journey started on a bright afternoon in early October 2008, as I was driving to the store to pick up lunch supplies for my son for the coming week. 

Looking back, it's easy to say, gosh-if I'd just left two minutes earlier. Or two minutes later. If I'd taken a different route. If I'd done any of a number of other things, I wouldn't be sharing what I've learned with you now.
 
But I didn't. 

And that placed me at a red light where a 'back road' crossed a busy highway. When my light turned green, I looked, saw a car stopped and stepped on my gas pedal. I don't think I made it as far as the light when I saw a white car flying toward me...and a split second later he hit the front of my van. 
 
I've often wondered if the sound I heard was the impact of the car hitting my van, or if it was the sound my head made when it-and the left side of my body-slammed against the driver's side door. I lost consciousness for a short time and wasn't aware that, somehow, the guy managed to hit the van a second time, causing more damage then than he did with the initial hit.
 
There are things I don't recall immediately afterward, but some things stand out. Like getting out of the van and trying to assess the damage to my vehicle. I wasn't very steady on my feet and witnesses insisted I get back in the van. I also remember the officer at the scene trying to get me to get in the ambulance and I kept saying no, that he needed to call my mom so she could take me to the hospital. 
 
Why wouldn't I ride in the ambulance? Because I hadn't shaved my legs. Stupid reason? Sure was. But when you've hit your head hard enough to be knocked out, you don't exactly think or reason as clearly as you otherwise might. 

Not that the 'other side' will see it that way. Trust me, that line of muddled reasoning came back to bite me in the butt a few weeks ago. But that's a subject for another day.
 
So now you know the basics of what happened then. It's everything that's happened since that I'd like to share with you. So if you're going through something similar, you might be surprised at some the things I've learned. And let me tell you, I've learned far more than I ever wanted to know.

My very first lesson, which I discovered early in the game is this....under no circumstances should you trust anyone following an accident.  I'll cover the reasons why in my next post.

 

Accidents, Injuries and TBI’s Privacy Policy/Disclaimer Okay, I’ll admit I’m only adding this because of some good advice. I’ll try to word it so that it sounds as legal as possible (yeah, right). I’ll also try to keep it much shorter than any privacy policy I’ve ever read online. In a nutshell it says that I’m not responsible if you decide to do some of the things I did after the accident, for any sponsors or advertisers and their links and products and/or services, and that-except for comments-your privacy is guaranteed with me. While I am writing this blog in hopes of helping people who experience situations similar to mine, I only offer my story as an example of what I’ve gone through, the problems I came up against and the ways I chose to deal with them. I do not recommend anyone follow my example or do the things I did. Readers who use this information in dealing with their situations do so at their own risk. Unless otherwise noted, I am the legal copyright holder of the material on my blog, Accidents, Injuries and TBI’s. This material may not be used, reprinted or published without my written consent. For my protection I have to say that the information I provide, while true and accurate, is for entertainment purposes only and that I am not providing medical, legal or other professional advice. Readers using any information found in my blog, Accidents, Injuries and TBI’s, do so at their own risk. To assure you, I will not put your name, email address-or any other information you provide-on any spam lists. I won’t sell, give, trade or share your contact information with any other person or company. I also need to tell you that I don’t know what, and am not responsible for, the privacy practices of my advertisers or blog commenters and shall be held blameless in the event of a disputer or any trouble arising out of their practices. I reserve the right to change the subject matter of the blog, to shut it down, sell it or change the terms of use (go to a paid platform) at my discretion. I am not responsible for the actions of my sponsors and advertisers. If readers purchase products and/or services from a link posted on my blog, Accidents, Injuries and TBI’s, the readers will not hold me liable but must take action against the advertiser or sponsor to resolve any issues that may arise. Regarding ‘letters to the editor’ type correspondence. All letters and/or emails sent to me by readers remain the property of the reader who sent them. While I would like to share letters, or portions of them, unless the sender specifically tells me that I can, they will remain private and not be posted on the blog or in any other form of writing (i.e. possible books, articles or columns). Accidents, Injuries and TBI's is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Sorry about the LONG paragraph.  The only way this will publish is if I put it all in the title.  So there are no paragraphs, page breaks or anything.  :(