Yoo Hoo! Is Anyone In There?

One of the most annoying things about this whole 'traumatic brain injury' thing is something I don't have a name for.  I'm sure there is a name for it, and someone probably told me what it was, but obviously it's just one of the many things I tend to forget now.

Maybe it has to do with the 'focus' issues that have become a part of my daily life.  Whatever the reason, it can be very frustrating.  Both for me and anyone trying to talk to me.

Sometimes I'll be sitting at my desk (or anywhere), trying to do something, and realize that I don't know what I've been doing for the past little while.  While I'm writing, watching a program, playing a game, or-and I'm sorry to admit this-having a conversation.

It's kind of like driving when you're too tired.  All of a sudden you realize you've covered a few miles you don't remember passing.  The file I thought I was writing in is blank.  The television program is running, but I've missed several minutes and couldn't tell you why.

The worst, though, are the conversations.  We've all had moments in our lives when we've been stuck listening to a dull speaker.  Those people who prefer monologues over a two-way chat.  They make it easy to zone out, to pay just a hint of attention to what they're saying because all they require is an occasional 'uh-huh,' or nod of the head.

But now I can zone out during the middle of a perfectly nice conversation.  It's like my mind gets tired of thinking and just takes a little vacation.

Another facet to whatever this thing that I have going on now is just weird.  One of my kids will come to my office, have a short conversation with me, and then go on about their business.  Thirty seconds or a minute or two later I have to call them back and find out what we both just said.  For some reason it took awhile for it to register that they were here and that we actually discussed something.   It's a little scary, and it for sure is a lot annoying!

I can also be in the middle of doing something when one of them will stop to say something.  And I'll have to ask them to repeat it several times before what they're saying actually sinks in.  Why?  Because I have trouble shifting my focus from one thing to another.  Yet another change I hate.

I'm not saying this is a constant, round the clock thing.  It's definitely a daily thing, and I work hard to eliminate from my life.  But it's not easy.  I've always been able to change my focus whenever I wanted to.  I want that ability back.

So far the biggest thing that helps me is to close my eyes.  If I can shut out all the distractions around me, or at least most of them, then I can hear what someone is saying to me.  Kind of a pain in the neck though.  Not to mention that it looks rude.

Has anyone else experienced this?  If so, have you found anything that helps you shift your focus from one thing to another?  What might that be?